you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
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