her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
