I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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