My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
