I'm going to jail i love you
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
