I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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