I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
