I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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