She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
