I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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