I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
