Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
