im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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