Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Did I show you my penis last night?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
