he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Randomize
