I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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