Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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