Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
