I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
