There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
