Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
