you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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