Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
