I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Randomize
