Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
