Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
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