Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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