I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
how can u be prego again
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
