Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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