I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
