I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I accidentally had phone sex last night
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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