did you get engaged???
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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