Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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