She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
