The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
