He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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