shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
My vagina is officially offended.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
