Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
