Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
