At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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