I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
