you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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