Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
