I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Please, let me fuck your mom
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
