I feel great
I just peed on a car
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
