garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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