Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
