I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
