I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
P.S. I can't hear my feet
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I think my moral compass just broke
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
