If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
