How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
