I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
