Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
