We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
