First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
